When Masculinity Goes Wrong: Reclaiming Godly Manhood
Being a man is not as straightforward as it sounds.
In a world filled with clashing expectations—from emotionless toughness to ultra-sensitivity—it can be difficult to know what masculinity is supposed to look like. Is it strength? Is it gentleness? Is it leadership, or is it service? Maybe you’ve felt that tension too.
I remember the pride I felt building a shed in our backyard. There was something deeply satisfying about creating something with my own hands. That said, I couldn’t have done it without my wife’s help—she was right there with me. Then there was the time I broke my elbow and had to call her. My voice cracked as I explained what happened. Part of me wondered if I should’ve been “tougher,” whatever that means.
The Confusing Standards of Manhood
Today’s culture doesn’t help much. We've moved from the unfeeling brute to the hyper-sensitive metrosexual. And while some progress is good—like men feeling free to express emotion—we’re still trying to find the balance.
But Scripture paints a clearer picture. It doesn’t give us a “style” of manhood, but instead, calls us to develop qualities that reflect God’s character:
“Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.” — Philippians 4:5
“Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” — 2 Timothy 2:3
Real manhood is less about how you look or act outwardly, and more about how you respond to God inwardly. As Mel Gibson once said, “A man’s strength isn’t measured in how much he can take before he breaks, but in how much he can take after he is broken.”
We all carry some brokenness. The question is, what will we do with it?
A Picture of Masculinity Gone Wrong
Let’s look at the opposite of godly manhood, found in Matthew 27:27–31. This is the account of the soldiers mocking and abusing Jesus before the crucifixion. These men thought they were showing strength, but they were actually showing broken masculinity.
Let’s break down how they went wrong—and what we can do instead:
1. They Followed the Crowd – “Joining the Herd” (v.27)
They gathered the whole company around Jesus—not to help, but to mock. These soldiers got their sense of power from the crowd.
Reflection:
Which groups give you a false sense of identity or power? God calls us to live not by the world’s standards but as strangers and exiles (1 Peter 2:11), doing good even if it means standing alone (1 Peter 3:17).
2. They Stripped Him – “Dismantling Identity” (v.28)
They humiliated Jesus by stripping Him and dressing Him in a mocking robe. They tore down instead of building up.
Challenge:
We all have the ability to speak life or tear down. Are your words lifting others into their God-given identity? “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt…” (Colossians 4:6)
3. They Mocked Authority – “Misguided Relationship to Power” (v.29)
They placed a crown of thorns on Jesus’ head and mocked His authority. They didn’t know how to handle power with reverence.
Spiritual maturity for men means learning to:
Respect authority without blind submission
Stand against injustice without automatic rebellion
Be both strong and submitted, like Jesus was (Hebrews 5:7)
We all need three kinds of relationships:
A Paul to mentor us, a Barnabas to encourage us, and a Timothy to guide and grow.
4. They Kept Hitting Him – “Refusing to Adjust” (v.30)
Even though they were hurting Jesus, they didn’t stop. Real strength is the ability to recognize when we're wrong—and change.
Manhood means adjusting, not justifying.
Don't say, “Why do I have to be the one to change?” If something’s hurting someone, choose humility over stubbornness.
5. They Led Him Away – “Dismissive and Detached” (v.31)
Finally, they crucified Jesus and walked away—as if it wasn’t their problem.
Godly men don’t disengage from problems—they solve them.
Whether it’s in your home, workplace, or church, you’re called to be a builder, not a bystander.
Conclusion: Be the Opposite
Masculinity doesn’t have to be confusing. We don’t need to fall into society’s traps or repeat the mistakes of these soldiers. Instead, let’s become builders of godly manhood:
5 Marks of Godly Masculinity:
Be Reflective – Don’t just follow the crowd.
Speak Life – Build up others' identity with your words.
Respect Authority – Model strength through reverence.
Adjust When Necessary – Let humility lead the way.
Engage, Don’t Dismiss – Be present, proactive, and problem-solving.
God is shaping you. He’s not finished yet. So this week, why not start small?
👉 Build one godly quality into your life—maybe begin by speaking life over someone else.
