"Answering with Grace: How Our Attitude Shapes Our Witness"
In a world full of questions, opinions, and often misunderstandings about faith, how do we, as followers of Christ, offer answers that are truly helpful? More importantly, what kind of attitude should shape our responses when we engage with those who are curious, sceptical, or even critical?
This is not a small question. Often, the way we say something can matter just as much as what we say. Our attitude—the spirit behind our words—can either open a door or quietly close it. So, let’s take a gentle walk through Scripture and explore how our hearts can be prepared for these precious moments of witness.
Seeing Through Different Eyes
When we think about engaging with people who have questions about faith, many emotions can surface—fear, hesitation, concern about saying the wrong thing, or even worrying about being rejected. But have we stopped to wonder what it feels like from the other side?
Take a moment to watch this short video from singer Katy Perry (you can find it here). Listen carefully to her heart. She is not attacking faith; she is sharing honest concerns and searching questions. How might we wisely respond to someone like her? Would intellectual arguments alone be enough? Or is there a deeper, more tender way to meet someone in their wondering?
We must resist two dangers: being so nervous we say nothing or being so forceful that we push people away. Both extremes are understandable, but neither reflects the heart of Christ.
Called to Answer — But How?
The Bible does not shy away from this tension. In fact, Peter speaks straight into it:
"But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear them or be intimidated, but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. Yet do this with gentleness and reverence…" (1 Peter 3:14–16, CSB)
Notice the balance: readiness and reverence. Confidence and gentleness. Truthfulness and tenderness. How beautiful that Scripture calls us not merely to answer questions, but to answer in a way that reflects the very character of Jesus.
Going Private Before Going Public
Before we ever speak to others, we are invited to speak privately with the Lord. Our internal connection with Him—our true, living relationship—is what steadies our hearts against fear or harshness.
Peter urges us to:
Set our priorities – Be zealous for good (not passive or lukewarm).
Set our posture – See Christ as Lord over all.
When we burn with the desire to do good (Romans 12:11, 17–21) and centre our hearts around the Lordship of Christ, we will find a courage that overcomes fear and a grace that softens any rough edges.
This heart posture matters deeply. We do not share from a place of pride, or merely to win arguments. We share as those representing a living relationship with Jesus. Every word we speak carries the fragrance of that relationship—or it should.
A simple, searching question we might ask ourselves is this: In sharing my ideas, am I hurting or helping my relationship with the Lord?
Ready to Give a Reason
Preparedness matters too. Peter calls us to be “ready at any time” to explain the hope that lives within us. Not with cold facts, but with thoughtful, reasoned, heartfelt words that connect both mind and soul.
Look at how Jesus answered difficult questions (Matthew 22:15–22). He listened. He understood the context. He responded wisely, not hastily. He spoke truth with calm authority, not fear. Jesus was deeply aware of the issues of His day, yet He always remained centred on God's purposes.
We do not need to be experts in every topic. We are simply called to share our hope—the living, personal story of God’s work in us. Authentic, humble answers often speak louder than perfectly crafted arguments.
Three Key Attitudes for Answering Well
Peter highlights three beautiful attitudes that should shape every gospel conversation:
Gentleness: A spirit of humility that absorbs hostility and sends back kindness. (Philippians 4:5; Galatians 5:22–26)
Reverence: Remembering we are speaking not just for ourselves, but on behalf of the Lord—and speaking to someone deeply loved by Him. (1 Peter 4:11; James 3:9–10)
A Clear Conscience: Sharing without judgment, without bitterness, and without hidden pride. (Hebrews 10:21–22)
When we embody these attitudes, our words, even if they are rejected, can become seeds of grace planted quietly in hearts.
Embracing the Risk
Even with the best attitudes, we may still face rejection or misunderstanding. Peter reminds us: “It is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.” (1 Peter 3:17)
But take heart. Every time we respond with grace, something profound happens inside us. God shapes us more into the likeness of His Son. (See Hebrews 12:2–4.)
And even if our message is not immediately received, the way we answer—with gentleness, respect, and integrity—may touch deeper places in someone's heart than we can imagine.
A Final Thought
As we make our Christianity public, the attitude we bring is just as important as the answers we share. Answers birthed out of our own journey with Christ, offered with love and humility, carry a fragrance that arguments alone never could.
So let’s be prepared. Let’s be thoughtful. Let’s be gentle. And above all, let’s deepen our devotion to the Lord, knowing that in every conversation, we are His witnesses.
Bless you as you go, ready to give an answer—and ready to love.
